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Church rejects support for gay parents

Published: July 21, 2009

The Church has rejected a support of gay, single and cohabiting parents in the UK by a body it partly funds, saying children need the stability that can only be offered by having parents of opposite genders.

Terry Prendergast of Marriage Care, which is partly funded by donations from Catholic dioceses, said there was no evidence children were harmed by having same sex parents, BBC reported.

He said in a speech at a gay Catholics conference last week that there was no evidence to show that children of same sex parents suffered in any way, and that the elements that made for successful child rearing were stable relationships.

He said families "other than the married man, woman and added child" find themselves "discriminated against and denigrated," the Catholic News Agency reports. Those in non-traditional families "attempt to live out good, Catholic lives whilst being judged and bracketed by those in authority, or those who appear to have reached the Kingdom already."

The Catholic Bishops Conference of England and Wales has insisted that the views expressed by Terry Prendergast about the definition of family and marriage are clearly not a reflection of the Church's teaching, nor those of the Bishops' Conference.

In a statement, the organisation acknowledged that although it was difficult to define what a family was, the Church still believed that stability for children came from having parents of opposite genders who could provide different role models, the BBC report adds.

Marriage Care, which grew from the Church's pastoral response to couples facing marriage problems, provides counselling and support for family relationships and marriage preparation through a network of volunteers and a telephone helpline.

The Catholic News Agency report also quoted a UK Centre for Social Justice report "Every Family Matters", on the family in Britain, which reportedly shows that children brought up by married parents are uniformly more successful.

The report says British children in a "lone parent" family are 75 percent more likely to fail at school, 70 percent more likely to become a drug addict, 50 percent more likely to develop an alcohol problem and 35 percent more likely to experience unemployment and welfare dependency, the news agency reported.

Some 70 percent of young criminal offenders come from single parent families, it added.

SOURCE

Church rejects gay parents claims (BBC)

Married man and woman 'gold standard' in childrearing, critics of British official say (Catholic News Agency)

 

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Recent Comments

  1. Don't stop at just saying kids need parents of the opposite gender, the way to go is to give kids the best, a husband and wife committed to each other in a public demonstration of self-sacrifice, courage and bearing the anthropological wisdom stretching back to the beginnings of human life.

    Marriage has been presumed upon in Western society to such an extent that it is now misunderstood as some form of individual choice rather than a vocation for the good of the society.
    More resources for marriage support and less for the trendy alternatives that truly can never match what marriage really is.

    Kids can't do with second best, no matter what the expression, and they should only have the best if we want them to reach their best potential, living in the image of the creator.

  2. How horrible, we thought Jesus taught us how to love unconditionally.
    No wonder throngs of Christians are walking out on their churches, they should, their churches are out of step and the church authorities’ teachings are immoral and incompatible with the teachings of Jesus. God does not discriminate anyone based on their sexual orientation, God only taught us how to love, unconditionally.
    Jesus said: ‘Love your neighbour as yourselves’, ‘Love you enemy’.

  3. Judy L,

    Jesus also instructed the woman caught in adultery: 'Go, and now sin no more.' In doing so, He effectively judged her past behaviour as sinful and demanded she not repeat it. Likewise, He also recognised the sinfulness of the money changers and literally cast them out of the Temple.

    Does this mean that our Lord is guilty of discrimination or of not loving 'unconditionally?’ The answer to the former is, in a sense, yes, whilst the answer to the latter is a definite no.

    'Discrimination' simply means 'the ability or power to see or make fine distinctions.' Every time you turn right instead of left, you are discriminating. Annoyingly, leftist ideologues have attached unnecessary semantic baggage to the term so that it is now impossible to use it without being screamed at by simpletons. Obviously, Jesus Christ discriminates against sin; consistently informing those caught in its grasp that they must escape it. You are correct in saying that we are taught to love unconditionally, however, it is our unconditional love that inspires us to instruct sinners (such as adulterers or active homosexuals) that their behaviour threatens their salvation.

    I wonder, if most dissenters actually picked up their Bibles and read the words of our Lord, how many would comment that Jesus was ‘too judgmental for a twenty-first century society.’

  4. Judy,

    As you are well aware, Christians are obliged to know and love God and part of this love means to know what offends him.

    God has made it abundantly clear through His Bible, through his Saints and through natural law that homosexuality is behaviour not compatible with Christanity and is nothing short of an abdomintion in His sight.

    Please don't offend God-fearing Christians and suggest otherwise.

    If they do not like God's ways, please do the right thing and leave.

    By the way, most Catholics are opposed and offended by homosexuality and want their Bishops to teach acoordingly.

    Please don't be so arrogant to suggest otherwise.

  5. God said to Adam and Eve, be fruitful and multipy and fill the earth. He could not say that to gays as they have no natural way of reproduction.
    Surely the figures speak for themselves, but people will ignore facts when it doesn't agree with their opinion.

  6. That the Church has taught and will always teach that marriage is between a man and a woman, to be a public and vocational expression of God's partnership with humanity, is not immoral.

    Using a few lines of Gospel text is no way to re-present Jesus Christ and his teachings as some form of validation of what does not stand up as truth.

    Catholic organsisations, Catholic teachers and Catholics are asked to give their assent to the teachings of the Church not as to how they align with popular opinion, but as they stand wihin the lived experience of the Church.

    Take for instance the rabble and babble over stem cell research. The Church teaches that embryonic stem cell research is wrong, and, guess what, the major advances coming from stem cell research are with using adult or ownbody stem cells.

    The real issue with this and many bio-ethical matters is of course a belief - and a trust, in being able to know the truth.

    Secularism and particularly fundamentalist secularism does not see the need for an objective truth. Why should it, it has never been called upon to prove itself being capable of sustaining a society in goodness and peace.

    But while it cries for time, too many people are seeing the ruin it can bring to a society.

  7. Perhaps the deep hurt these comments cause to unavoidably single parents should at the very least make us begin to question whether such views are a reflection of God's will.
    By nature we are afraid of what we do not know.But are we not taught that Love casts out fear...?

  8. Such spurious arguments offered by Judy L.
    "God does not discriminate aganst anyone based on their sexual orientation". You are using the term "sexual orientation" as if it simply means "same-sex attraction", which in itself is not necessarily sinful, but it certainly is sinful if it leads to sodomy. Indeed, the whole purpose of God, Jesus Christ, living among us and giving His life for us was to redeem the sinful human race, and sodomy is one of those sins.
    Again, "Jesus taught us to love unconditionally". This is exactly why I am writing this reply to you. I do not want to see any person losing their soul because of their sinful behaviour which is exactly why Jesus died for us, that his redeeming grace might be available for those who choose Him and not the sinful world.
    If you were honest with yourself you would admit that the Church faithfully represents the teachings and morality of Jesus, being the Bride of Christ, even though some of its members have betrayed Him.

  9. Judy L,

    You thought wrong. Jesus taught us to hate sin. The problem is that many people don't.

  10. I don't know how relevant weeping statues are , but we should be hanging our heads in shame and weeping at the treatment we as church continually extend to gays, Catholic and not.
    Anne Chang.

  11. The Church could be doing the life-changing job of countering the human tendency toward prejudice; instead, it practises prejudice, particularly homophobia. What can you say about the spirituality of a religion which harbours pedophiles but rejects loving parents who happen to be of the same sex?

  12. Uncle Chop, Chop

    I would like to direct your attention to the fact that in your 'Natural Law' many animal species are homosexual and in some animal groups, up to 90% of such sexual activity is homosexual.

    Some of the leading newspapers in the country have recently run stories on gay penguins adopting, nurturing and caring for orphaned eggs. Additionally, gay penguins are monogamous and spend a lifetime together. To me that says a lot about natural law.

    Correct me if I am wrong, but in the past wasn’t merely having homosexual tendencies considered immoral by the Church? Now that has changed. Funny how rules seem to change and evolve, and what was once considered immoral is now considered in the opposite light. Proof of this is in the pudding i.e. John Paul II apologising for the past injustices of the Church.

    In 1000 years time, a new pope will be apologising for all the injustices done by the church to her people today.

    God bless
    John

  13. "Gay parents" isn't that an oxymoron? the definition of parent is: "One of the two persons from whom one is immediately biologically descended; a mother or father" Children want to know and love the mother and the father from whom they have descended. The recent show "find my family" showed just how powerfully each human feels about their biological roots. Technology has given gay people the opportunity to create children, that are partially theirs, but these children will want to know who their true parents are eventually. Parentage is fundamentally about who I come from. God created humans as men and women, and it is through the bond of their love that children are created. Everything else is an aberration of God's loving plan. and will bring great heartache into the lives of the children concerned.

  14. It's ok to follow and agree with church teaching until the problem lands on your doorstep. Things then have to change, for then it's your own flesh and blood! And for those people who condemn or or insist that we leave the church my comments are distinctly uncharitable.

  15. Uncle Chop Chop, could you please send me the link to the survey that indicated clearly that "most Catholics are opposed and offended by homosexuality and want their Bishops to teach accordingly." Was it completed this year or 2008? You see my point, I hope. And would you use this same argument when talking about contraceptives? (unless you insist on defining as Catholic those who reject same)?

    I am still intrigued by writers who state their view as though it is "the truth" (it may be, then again may not be) and then tell the other guy "please don't be arrogant " by insisting on what YOU are saying is true!

  16. Fr Mick, I find myself agreeing with much of what you have said. There is certainly no way in the world I will ever agree to the use of embryonic stem cells for the sake of another human being.

    But I have found again and again that Catholics make all kinds of sweeping statements in good faith when those statements reflect a clear, easily understood idea which may NOT BE TRUE in the way that it is believed. I am referring to your statement "Secularism and particularly fundamentalist secularism does not see the need for an objective truth." Yes, it is true and Benedict and other Popes have rightly written about it, especially Benedict who recently called God "creative Reason".

    But it's all too easily said, Mick, I think. As a committed Catholic I taught in State schools for 30 years (as did my wife) and it just ain't that simple! We need to engage with people because they DO believe in objective truth and the objective truth they believe in is that the most important thing in life is to make up your own mind!!! As someone said: as soon as you get rid of God some *** comes along and tries to take His place!! We do have a society that believes in Church teaching but it's the new Church called individualism; it now teaches what society is about. So, I'm saying we need a better approach than the one so many Catholics take (often the KISS principle, which maintains clarity of thought and belief yet at the same time creates difficulties in communicating with the very society we believe we have some essential things to teach!!)

    Of one thing I am certain: others will ignore everything we have to say with a vengeance if we define them as the baddie!

    We have to be smarter. I think we have to listen to the attitude of those who are appalled by some of the "judgmental" writers on this website WITHOUT necessarily agreeing with the solutions of those writers (who often recommend a change in teaching as the only way forward). And at the same time we need to listen to the teaching behind some of our web writers while putting aside their ATTITUDES when they are of the "You're wrong and I'm right and there's nothing else to say" variety." These latter statements might make the writer feel affirmed in the truth but he's just alienated his listener so what was it all for? Was it for HIMSELF or was it for the listener whom God brought into his or her life today?

    I'm using your comment as a springboard for what I think is really important, Mick; hope you don't mind. As a Church we believe we have words of life. We need to be able to engage with our listeners (including disappointed, disillusioned sometimes more honest than us Catholics) and the only way I know to make that engagement a fruitful one is to SHOW YOU RESPECT YOUR LISTENER. Far too many Catholics (as well as everyone else!) are like a spiritual nutritionist who has the very essence to teach to others but puts so many people off by their approach that few listen.

    What do you think?

    Mike Y
    (Yes, I know Jesus was a wonderful teacher and still some/many did not listen)

  17. John,

    1. Your "if it happens elsewhere in nature it's OK for humans" example has been long subjected to a critique which might run thus: some female spiders eat their male partner after the act of coitus. On your reasoning, it's then OK - because "natural" - for women to kill (and eat?) their male partner after sex.

    Happy with that?

    2) No, the magisterium has never condemned someone who was afflicted with homosexual tendencies. The latter are known as temptations. Like every temptation we all experience, they're a result of the Fall. It's in our response to them that "the rubber hits the road". And of course, God understands more than we do how difficult the struggle against temptation can be. We all stand in dire need of His grace.

  18. Having read all the comments it is simple to see that a lot of people have no idea what they are talking about, just a lot of ill-informed opinions and ignorance of what the Church really stands for - love and forgiveness.

  19. Isn't it a nasty surprise to see all these bigots coming out in full swing again.

    Aquino, sure Jesus discriminates;
    he discriminates against hate, against bigotry, against oppressive systems of religiosity and materialism, against poverty, against vilification in the name of religion, against inequality, against violence and abuse against minorities, against wealth accumulation, against religious orthodoxy, against the LAW, breaking bad and unjust laws again and again. Yes, he discriminates.

    ‘Chop chop’; no you are wrong, and no they don’t. Most Catholics do not agree with that small but certain part of the hierarchy who preach hate. And again, many great theologians and bishops do not agree with you either.

    Markodan, sure, the children of Adam and Eve also had sex with each other and committed grave incest, and no- ‘procreate’ isn’t just about making babies, because if that is your main purpose in life, you are committing sin right now, you should be out there breeding away.

    Religious fundamentalism is a strange thing; it is like a disease that eats away compassion, intelligence and commonsense. The cure for it is that thing we are called to- ‘Truth and Love’.

  20. TJ as usual your comments make no sense. At the time of Adam and Eve procreation was most necessary and as the gene pool was clean, incest was not a problem and not against the natural law. It would be more constructive for rational debate to stop labelling people you disagree with as bigots because it simply means you are the biggest one of all.

  21. John: Natural Law has nothing to do with "what animals do". It refers to the natural (albeit flawed by the Fall) knowledge of right and wrong available to every man through the use of his God-given rational mind.

  22. I think that the reason that many clergy are soft on homosexuality is because some of them may be that way inclined themselves OR have been reading soft theology in an atmosphere of post Vatican II dissent since their seminary days.
    People should realise that many misfits actually go through seminaries- many leave and go on to lead homosexual lives and often end up rejecting prayer and the Mass and sacraments; others chip away at the Church's teaching under the cover of being intellectually serious but are really just chipping away at Church teaching in order to feel better and to feel that the Church will accept their worldview and way of life.

  23. Also John, John Paul II did not "apologise for the past injustices of the Church." And he certainly didn't, as you imply, apologise for any of the Church's doctrines, such as the unchangeable God-given doctrine that all sexual activity other than between a validly married husband and wife is a grave sin.

    Read what he said. He expressed sorrow for the past lack of charity by some INDIVIDUAL MEMBERS of the Church. Big difference.

  24. Peter G, some of those individuals were Popes. Do you really think that orders to go on Crusades were correct?

  25. John: Yes indeed, and Pope John Paul certainly did not apologise for them.

    You sound as if you have been taken in by the modern myth that the Crusades were aggressive murderous onslaughts by power-mad popes against innocent peace-loving Muslims.

    The exact opposite is the case. If the popes had not authorised the Crusades as a desperate rearguard action to defend what was left of Christendom against an aggressor who had swallowed up two-thirds of Christendom, and so buy some extra time even though the Muslims beat them in the end, the whole of Europe would certainly be ruled by Muslims.

    Yes, some of those who had showed a lack of charity, for which John Paul expressed sorrow, were popes. But no pope has ever taught the Church a false doctrine, and no pope will ever apologise for or reverse any Catholic doctrine.

  26. And look at the Rainbow Flag that is currently being used, this Rainbow colour is in a picture in the Sistine Chapel where a woman has it draped on her shoulders.

    What are we doing to curb this behaviour even more?

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